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Jesus, Mary & Johnny B. Goode
I once heard a little rubric that ranked a person’s intelligence based on what he or she likes to talk about at parties. People who like to talk about things meaning material objects make up the bottom. People who prefer to talk about other people fill the middle, and people who discuss ideas reign supreme. Elitist bastards.
I suppose it would be easy enough to apply the same system to music. Being a middle of the pile kind of guy myself I did a little looking into my stacks to see who The Music is talking about. A survey of songs in my collection wherein a person’s name is mentioned in the title turned up a few very interesting - and telling - facts:
1. Specific men from history, legend or an artist’s peer group are more likely to be mentioned by name than are specific women, while songs about women tend to be addressed to a generic "Suzy Q" type character;
2. Mary and her variations (Marie, Maria...) edged out Jane for the most revered female name in song with plenty of predictable Mary Jane (dude) references keeping the race close;
3. John and his wildly popular diminutive Johnny won the same honor among male names by a landslide, followed by (palm fronds, please) Jesus who came in a respectable second.
So here is my not quite definitive list of songs about these A-List names in popular music...
Ladies First
“Proud Mary” CCR
“Mary Mary” Run DMC
“The Wind Cries Mary” Jimi Hendrix
“Now Mary” White Stripes
“Crazy Mary” Victoria Williams
“Mary Won’t You Call My Name” Morphine
“Mary” Sarah McLachlan
“Miss Marry” Vic Chesnutt
“Help Me Mary” Liz Phair
“Mary’s Place” Bruce Springsteen
“Mary Watches Everything” Luka Bloom
“Mary Bahtyarli” The Letter E
“The Mary Martin Show” New Pornographers
“Mary of Silence” Mazzy Star
“Forever Night Shade Mary” Latin Playboys
“Twisting mary’s arm” Hefner
“Going down to Big Mary’s” The Paladins
“Soundtrack to Mary” Soul Coughing
“Have You Seen Mary” Sponge
“Last Dance With Mary Jane” Tom Petty
“Mary Jane” Alanis Morrisette
“Mary Lee” Hefner
“Maria Elena” Gene Autry
“My Maria” BW Stevenson
“Maria” Blondie / Rage Against the Machine
“O Maria” Beck
“Maria Cries in Lima” Les Thugs
“Chico & Maria” Kevn Kinney
“Marie” Townes Van Zandt
“Oh Marie” Louis Prima
“Marilu” Serge Gainsbourg
“Big Black Mariah” Tom Waits
Big and Bad Indeed
“John Henry” traditional
“Sloop John B.” Beach Boys
“Big Bad John” Jimmy Dean
“John, I’m Only Dancing” David Bowie
“Uncle John’s Band” Grateful Dead
“Farmer John” Neil Young & Crazy Horse
“The Ballad of John and Yoko” Beatles
“Regular John” Queens of the Stone Age
“Brother John” Big Head Todd & The Monsters / Blues Traveler
“Demon John” Jeff Buckley
“St. John” Aerosmith
“St. John Street” Willard Grant Conspiracy
“John the Baptist” Afghan Whigs
“John the Revelator” Blind Willie Johnson
“John Lee Supertaster” They Might Be Giants
“John Barleycorn Must Die” Traffic
“John Barleycorn Must Live” Minus 5
“Jane describes John” Braid
“Get Up John” Emmylou Harris
“John Walker’s Blues” Steve Earle
“Johnny B. Goode” Chuck Berry
“Johnny Ryall” B-boys
“Johnny Mahoe” Iz
“Johnny Too Bad” Steve Earle
“Johnny Come Lately” Steve Earle
“Johnny Feelgood” Liz Phair
“Johnny Hit and Run Paulene” X
“Johnny Hart” Woody Guthrie
“Lonesome Johnny Blues” Cracker
“Hey, Johnny Park! Foo Fighters
“Johnny’s Garden” Manassas
“Johnny Kick a Hole in the Sky” Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Johhny Sunshine” Liz Phair
“Janet vs. Johnny” The Fall
“Jonathan Fisk” Spoon
Jesus Christ Superstar
“Jesus the Missing Years” John Prine
“Jesus Is Just Alright” Doobie Brothers
“Personal Jesus” Depeche Mode
“Jesus Christ” Woody Guthrie / Big Star
“Jesus, etc” Wilco
“Jesus (Don’t Touch My Baby)” Ryan Adams
“Thank You Jack White (for the fiber-optic Jesus that you gave me) Flaming Lips
“Jesus Christ Was An Only Child” Modest Mouse
“Jesus The Mexican Boy” Iron & Wine
“American Jesus” Bad Religion
“Walkin’ With Jesus” Spacemen 3
“Christ for President” Billy Bragg & Wilco
“Jesus Walks” Kanye West
“Jesus Gonna Be Here” Tom Waits
“Jesus Wrote a Blank Check” Cake
“White Jesus of 114th St.” Rye Coalition
“Jesus Christ Pose” Soundgarden
“Forget About Jesus” Swell
“Wooden Jesus” Temple of the Dog
“Jesus Forgive me (for the things I’m about to say)” Concrete Blonde
As always lists are culled from my personal library and reflect what I listen to. If you would like to contribute a suggestion for future lists or just have enough free time to waste writing a comment to this entry I will gladly waste some time in response.
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